It all begins to make sense

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    I’m long overdue to divulge my master plan, villain style. Since Im all alone, this is great timing.
    1: Operation Troll Until Control (success)
    2: Operation Outer Space (success)
    3: Operation Illusions of Grandeur (success)
    4: Control the Masses (in progress)

    As you can see, there is no clear direction whatsoever but still feels semi legit AND ominous. Plus Ive enjoyed wild success so far. Not bad, eh?


    Operation Control the Masses is now a success. Mwahahahahaha!!!!
    All numbers are estimates, rounded conservatively.
    World population - 7,875,000,000
    51% = 4,017,000,000

    Alien Brain Syndicate Controls
    China 1,449,000,000
    India 1,380,000,000
    Indonesia 274,000,000
    Pakistan 221,000,000
    Brazil 213,000,000
    Nigeria 206,000,000
    Bangladesh 165,000,000
    France 65,000,000
    Ukraine 44,000,000
    California 40,000,000
    Peru 33,000,000
    Angola 33,000,000
    Ecuador 18,000,000
    Greece 10,000,000
    Portugal 10,000,000
    Israel 8,000,000
    Bulgaria 7,000,000
    Singapore 6,000,000
    Costa Rica 5,000,000
    Nevada 3,000,000
    Gabon 2,000,000
    Bahrain 2,000,000
    Maine 1,000,000
    Hawaii 1,000,000

    Total 4,187,000,000


    Mwahahahahaha freshly inebriated, clearly in celebration of his freshly remembered evil plot’s success, the villain takes a round of questions from the people:
    Edb - “hot bitch, sory, u.” *points pinky finger*
    Hot Bish - “Oh My God I love you!!!!!! AAAAAAH!”
    Edb- “sure, me too, uh I sell seeds at EDB’s seeds bank too ya know..”
    Hot Bish- “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”
    Edb- “erhm hrmm, uh do you have a question?”
    Hot Bish-“Uhhhhhhh whats next for you?!”
    Edb- “next, i will exact my revenge upon all negligent dog owners in my city. Theyve gone too far! Once, like 17 months ago, whilst moseying, i plodded directly on top of a steamy pile of doggo dúdü. The cracks of the nikes will never be the same.”
    Hot Bish- “oh well you a lil weird kinda so uhn na no. Bye-bye.”
    Edb- *sip*


    Recognizable White Dude- “yo EDB, you spittin or what ‘bro’?”
    Edb- “uh, maybe later gin with the juice and the GMO, gotta balance with the forest”
    RWD- “uhhh wha-O.K.! EDB too drunk, all he really want is that purp skunk*
    Edb- “Mwahahahahahahaha!”
    RWD- “whoa, didnt expect that. You meant it.”
    Edb- “you gotta dog, right?”
    RWD- “gotta go ‘bro’ laters”
    *door closes*
    Edb - *whispers* “that is all! Mwahahahaha!!”


    Ominous masked, hooded individual- “Yo, you EDB?”
    Edb- “uhhhhhhhhhh, every day burn, hell yeah”
    Omhi- “ha ha, eating dead birds??”
    Edb- “uhhh like chicken wings?”
    Omhi- “yeah, yeah”
    Edb- “naw, got this purp offa cop tho”
    Omhi -“for real?”
    Edb- “indeed”
    Omhi- “pass that”
    Edb- *pass*
    Omhi- *hit*
    Edb- *slice*
    Omhi- *gaaaaaaaaguguhuhuggggguu* *pass back kinda*


    Ok, that is all. Im done speaking and answering buffoonery for the day. *moseys*




    Missed sharing the eureka moment, but one of my research assistants made a breakthru and the supervillain used telepathy to send me a good plan…

    That plan was named Operation Bubblespit, and it has been deemed successful.


    I’m long overdue to update my master plan, list style…
    Im definitely not all alone anymore Mwahahahaha!!!

    1: Operation Troll Until Control (success)
    2: Operation Outer Space (success)
    3: Operation Illusions of Grandeur (success)
    4: Control the Masses (success)
    5: Dogshit Revenge (in progress)
    6: Operation Bubblespit (success)



    4. Just wanna note how well behaved the masses have been. Yous masses get a bad rap. (Bad rap, get it?)

    5. Dogshit Revenge as it’s commonly referred to, is going to take a long while. It’s very ambitious, and engineering a dogswine flu is harder than it looks without easy access to a grimey fish market, bat habitats, and/or party politics.

    No matter, with persistence, and copious anounts of ganja, we will either forget all about it, or come up with a genius solution.. while snacking…


    6. Operation Bubblespit was a plan that an unknown supervillain sent me via telepathy (that I didnt even know I had).

    It started when one of my research assistants made a breakthru (now known as the Monaco Experiments). Dont look, we burned the lab down to prevent peer review. Mwahahahaha!!! (Take that, biters.) Anywho, some time after the breakthru, I actually saw the plan unfolding backwards in the hive mind. Seriously, I have a fair amount of ‘Eureka moments’ and this one was weird how it came.

    This plan’s success has changed some gameplay strategies for me.. I hope to reimplement them soon on a map near you.

    Dont believe any of the unconfirmed rumors concerning plan 7. You just cant fake the funk.


    Operation: Adios

    Im not enjoying myself. Nobody wants to practice rapping/creative writing or even have fun it seems (except Yoshi).. I improved some, but I still suck overall. 5.8/10 rap skill. Syndicate invitees can use my portals if you want. Know I do not intend to play anymore.

    The masses under my control would be better off dead. The villain saves Earth while simultaneously murdering the majority of the population, and their dogs. Mwahahahahaha!!!
    *UFO appears, beams up Birds, and dips*

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